The Bigger Picture

It has been a bumpy ride for me since September. They say that when it rains, it pours. That personal storm hit me hard when I was least expecting it. 

The moment I thought things were falling into place was that same moment everything fell apart. Of course, I was crushed. Words were not enough to describe the heartache I felt. After he dropped the "bomb", he told me that he wanted to talk things over. At the same time, he would understand if I didn't want to. Out of respect for him and our relationship that would soon be over, I agreed for us to have that talk. More importantly, I needed closure. It was the only way for me to move forward.

That stormy Monday afternoon, I prepared myself mentally and emotionally for that nerve-wracking conversation with him. I tried my best to look composed despite my already puffy eyes from crying the night before. The day we officially called it quits was also the same day before my final interview with the CEO of the company I applied for.

Exactly two months after the whole incident, I've moved on and can say that being single isn't so bad at all. And in case you were wondering, I did not get the so-called "dream job." I'm still not working but school has kept me busier than ever as I approach the end of the academic term.

I thought the heartbreak would leave me depressed to my wits but it didn't. In fact, I'm much happier in ways I never imagined. 

Just a few days ago, I've already had this awkward encounter with my ex-beau. That made me realize that some things are better left the way they are. It's one thing that only time can fix. Besides, time heals all wounds, right?

Things now make sense. A friend was telling me then that soon, I will see the bigger picture. And she was right.

Those sleepless nights when all I could do was cry, I found myself again. I realized how I've given so much of myself in my past relationships that when it comes to an end, there's nothing left of me. 


I didn't see myself as a strong person until the breakup. I allowed myself to experience the raw emotions as each day passed. But one thing I did not allow was the breakup to become bigger than me. Now I can say I've handled the situation pretty well and with so much grace. I didn't do anything that I would regret later on.


For now, I look forward to the remaining days left of the year and hope for a better 2012!


Cheers!

Again, What Holiday?

Today is a declared holiday in the Philippines.


I could have gone to the bazaar to get a head start on my Christmas shopping. Cramming, I know.


But instead, I chose to hit the textbooks. I'm bracing myself for a hectic finals week.


This time, it's a battle between productivity and procrastination. 
2 weeks until I can finally get my hands on a non-textbook. Last month, I attempted to start on Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead and now, it's gathering dust on my bedside table. Boohoo.


Oh well, back to the daily grind of studying. I thank Steve Jobs for his wonderful creations namely, the iPod and MacBook Pro. These two gadgets make graduate school life bearable. :)


Cheers.

Just remember this...

This has been a favorite quote of mine for quite some time now. A year ago when I was going through a difficult time when a good friend told me this.

We may not always understand the reason behind the trials we are facing; but we have to believe that we are being prepared for greater blessings through these.

Eye Candy: Kate Spade 2012 Planner

Apart from Christmas melodies being played in malls, you know the most awaited season is here when Starbucks starts rolling out their promo for the yearly planner and offers the Christmas beverages.


I fell into the Starbucks planner trap in 2005 but later on realized that it was too expensive and the planner always ends up gathering dust. Come middle of the year, I'd be too lazy to write on that pricey planner. 


Nonetheless, I am still in search for a functional yet pretty planner that's unique. 


Lo and behold, I finally found one as I was in Greenbelt yesterday and made a quick trip to the Kate Spade store. And when I checked the price tag, it's definitely cheaper than the Starbucks planner. 

I also love the interesting patterns on the cover. How can I not resist this pretty thing? It doesn't help that I'm a lover of all things Kate Spade!


Now, be mine! 


Photo Credits: Kaboodle.com

Taylor Swift and Relationship Musings

Though I am already in my late-20s, I am a self-confessed Taylor Swift fan. 

Sure, she's been infamous for her string of relationships with good-looking men in the past (Taylor Lautner, John Mayer, and Jake Gyllenhaal) but I have to give her credit for her talent in both singing and songwriting. 

Interestingly, the songs she writes are mostly based from past experiences. 

Each song tells a story and some of them I can relate to. Well, anyone who  has been in a relationship probably will.

I have a few favorites but lately, I've been listening a lot to her single, The Story of Us. The first time I heard it, I was like... Whoa?! Was this song made for me? 

The song is somewhat a recap of a recent episode in my life.

The first lines of the song couldn't have been any more precise. 

"I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us
How we met and the sparks flew instantly
People would say they're the lucky ones"

From the lyrics, you could tell that this is a song about whirlwind romances that have fizzled out. The surge of emotions during the first stages lead one to believe that it is love when in reality, it is simply a case of infatuation. And once the emotions have settled, disaster happens. 

While love always has emotions involved, the latter isn't the be-all and end-all. Being blinded by emotions often leads to one to view relationships through rose-colored glasses. 

After a relationship's end, awkwardness is expected between exes. Truth be told, there will always be awkward moments no matter how amicable the separation was. As for me, I have yet to find out if it isn't always true.

"Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room
And we're not speaking
And I'm dying to know, is it killing you
Like it's killing me"

Simply put, breakups are never easy regardless of who initiated it. 

Like a wound, you just have to let it heal over time. Let go, move on, and forgive but never forget the lessons behind the pain. Though a relationship has come to end, life still goes on. 

New Girl

For the longest time, I haven't been following any TV series. If my memory serves me right, the last thing I closely followed was Outsourced. 

Unfortunately, its existence was short-lived. There was no Season 2 for me to look forward to.

Somewhere between work and school, I haven't been able to sneak in a few precious moments downloading series from my now-retired HP Laptop. 


But the great thing about US TV shows is how dynamic it can get. One show gets cancelled and the next thing you know, there's another series being introduced. 


Thanks to my Macbook Pro's impressive speed, I can easily download torrents. :D Which now brings me to my current favorite series.... New Girl with Zooey Deschanel! 

Since her breakthrough movie, 500 Days of Summer, I've always had an affinity for Zooey. She stood out among the Hollywood It girls just by being her "adorkable" self. 

She plays Jess Day, a school teacher who moves in with three guys after going through a break-up with her long-term boyfriend.


Each of her housemates has his own distinct personality. There's Winston, a former professional basketball player. And there's the metrosexual Schmidt and bartender Nick. But the great thing is they all have a good chemistry. They seem to complement each other.


I also crack up every time Jess tries to deliver her lines singing. 


To date, the funniest episode for me was the 4th. I'd rather not give spoilers so you can go figure it out yourself.


Now I can't wait for Ep.6! 


Until then, I can only sing, "Who's that girl?.... It's Jess!"

dark clouds

They say that when it rains, it pours. The last few months, I've been showered with challenges in my personal and professional life.

I've tried to stay positive and held on tightly to my faith. But sometimes, I cannot help but feel that I don't deserve all of these. Which leads me to my question - where is the silver lining?

I think I've been optimistic for too long that I cannot help but unleash my negative side. 

I don't even know why I'm writing this. Maybe it's my hormones kicking in. 

Somebody give me a happy pill!

oh hello!

So, after so many failed attempts to maintain my own blog, I decide to give it another shot. 


Welcome to my blog. I'm April, a twenty-something single gal currently taking a break from the corporate world and finishing my graduate studies. 


My original plan was to put up a food blog but for starters, it might be good to cover a range of topics for now. 


Here's to another (hopefully successful) shot at blogging.


Cheers!